Aiming high

Do female youth athletes and male youth athletes need different kinds of mental strength training? Do they respond better to different coaching tactics?

The answer is yes. We need to understand that males and females have differing genetic tendencies passed down from our ancestors as part of our history of successfully dominating the earth. Females place a much higher value on community and getting along with others on their team or anywhere in their sport.

coachMales tend to be more linear and object-oriented. It should be quite obvious to any coach that females also tend to be more emotional as well. Without explaining the anthropology of it all, but keeping that in mind, both sexes need the same mental toughness training but the APPROACH and motivations will be different.

The best coaches and trainers will utilize the athlete’s model of the world rather than their own in order to get the best results. The best coaches and managers are the most flexible.

For example, I work with gymnasts and competitive cheerleaders on a regular basis. These girls go through some of the most dangerous training of any sport and yet, they do it with such excitement and passion even though on any given day they can easily break a bone or even worse.

595px-Turnen_oefening-297x300But what many of these girls cannot handle at all is a hardcore drill sergeant type of coach. Often, gyms bring in coaches from Eastern European and Asian countries where discipline is first and foremost. And for some reason, they think that yelling and screaming are the best ways to get an athlete to perform. Does it work with some athletes? Yes, clearly otherwise they wouldn’t be successful coaches. Does it work for all? Not a chance. I would say not even the majority.

I’ve got news for you…a 12-year old girl under those conditions has to quickly develop a thick skin by learning how to block their emotions or they’re out. That kind of pressure on top of the physical danger inherent in the sport is often just too much and some end up quitting.

When coaching girls teams, you will find that you can utilize natural leaders much more to create a cohesive team environment. Nominate your captains and mentor them in leadership. Let them do more of the work and create the kind of community girls crave in their sports.

Now, coaches that work with boys will find that the drill sergeant approach tends to work with more boys than not and that’s because of the culture of toughening up boys gets them started early with this. But that still doesn’t mean that all boys respond well to that either, many don’t and I see them in my office weekly.

Having said that, it is true that you can get away with being tougher on boys in general and a strong voice, at times, can be a motivating force for many of them. Regularly and often, you want to keep the motivation up by helping them see a vision of success, long-term and short term.

Girls that respond well to the drill sergeant are much more rare. If you want to motivate girls, use the strong desire for community. Encouraging the girls to create friendships is the most powerful force you can use to get compliance and build their confidence.

As a coach, I would recommend an absolute ZERO tolerance for anything that remotely looks like bullying. If I heard anything like that and had proof, I would not play the girls responsible for it. Backstabbing and gossiping are a coaches biggest problem, not mechanics and execution.

Girls are more likely to base their actions and decisions on how they feel at the moment and so you would do well to be attuned to this.

Boys are more likely to dial into statistics and praise from the coach as well as being pushed.

Always remember, inspiration and teaching mental toughness works well for both sexes.

The concepts I teach in the mental toughness academy are the same for the different genders in sports: Resilience, Fearlessness, Emotional Mastery, Perspectives, etc. The biggest difference between the sexes is in utilizing different motivations. Just become aware of this and you will start to notice those differences and keep them in mind with the words you choose for your athletes.