“I’m worthless, I can’t do anything right…”
It Drives Me Crazy When I Hear People Talking Like This
It needs to stop!
I talk a lot about confidence, we’ve even created a course that’s helped thousands to build their confidence.
What I haven’t talked about for a while is self-esteem.
Confidence is how you feel about your abilities.
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself.
Too many people make the mistake of tying their self-worth up in their sport, job, schoolwork.
Self-esteem *SHOULD* be based on who you are not how well you did today in the game.
Take away your sports performance, the job performance and/or your school performance…
How would you describe yourself? THAT is what self-esteem is based on.
Don’t like what you see?
Guess what? Just like we teach with confidence, you *CAN* change that too.
It’s all about programming, our brains are the most complex computers in the world.
You’ve probably heard the phrase Garbage In, Garbage Out…
If you feed a bunch of garbage into a computer, that’s what you’re going to get out of it.
Low self-esteem usually comes from other people telling SOMEONE they aren’t good enough.
If you hear something enough times you start to believe it, especially if it comes from more than one person, or someone in authority.
Once you believe it, you’ll start repeating it to yourself. Keep doing that enough times and it becomes a habit.
So how do we improve our self-esteem?
Just like how the garbage got in there, we need to overwrite it with true, positive messages, the good things about us.
We can start with ourselves.
The first step is to think about all of the good things about you. Things like:
- I’m a very kind person
- I’m always there to help my friends
- I’m always on time
- I have great fashion sense
You get the idea…
Now write some of yours down, go ahead, I’m waiting…
Great, now that you have that, the next step is to start paying attention to your thoughts.
Whenever you notice yourself thinking something negative about yourself, take a moment and list 3 good things about yourself.
Come up with new ones.
Trust me there’s lots of good things about you, hundreds of them, they’re just hard to think up on the spot. Your list will grow and it will become easier.
I’m not going to lie, this will take time, it will also work.
Keep an eye out for your negative thoughts about yourself and make an effort to overwrite them with positive things about yourself.
Nobody’s perfect, some negative thoughts will slip through and you’ll feel bad when it happens.
You can still do this later when you’re feeling down. Look through your list and remind yourself of all the things you’re good at, repeat them to yourself and remove the power of the negative programming.
Here’s something we do in my house (I suggest you do it too):
If someone says anything bad about themselves, you stop them and ask them to tell you 3 GOOD things about themselves out loud.
It works wonders and helps keep everyone accountable and to remember the steps.
If you want to help someone else with their self esteem, you can help by reminding them of the good things you see in them.
Remember what I said about how you get low self-esteem coming from other people? It’s very powerful and works both ways.
Remind people of the good things about them.
Let’s do this!
The Mental Toughness Trainer Team