We all as parents want our kids to be successful in their sports, of course. However, how you and your child interact and deal with their coach can make a big difference in their happiness and success while playing their sport.
In this Part 3, of a 3 part video series on Success Principles for Kids and Sports, we share with you some simple, but critical things you can do to help your kids in sports and some tips for dealing with youth sports coaches…
Youth Sports Parents Tips for Dealing with The Coach
7.To be taught and shown physical skills
There are approximately 3 million youth sports coaches out there and less than 20% of coaches have any training to be a coach. 85% of all coaches are the parent of one of the players. In other words, do not assume they are getting good skill instruction. It’s up to you to make sure this is happening.
Take a keen interest in what your child is learning by asking them about their latest skill. Really be present in these conversations and ask open-ended questions to keep it going. When some kids get the personal instruction and others don’t, it creates a formula for destroying confidence.
8. To have mental skills modeled and explained
My definition of mental toughness is when you are focused, confident, determined, and resilient…especially under pressure. We have an 8-step program in our Mental Toughness Academy to help your child develop these mental skills.
It’s your job though to model them. For example, if you want your child to learn sportsmanship, you’d better be a great sport from the stands by clapping at appropriate times for the other competitors and keeping quiet when there are bad officials calls.
If you want your kid to be calm under pressure, show him how to do that at home. This is the most powerful way that kids learn anything.
9. Advocate for them
Most youth sports programs are well run. Most coaches are well intentioned. Unfortunately, sometimes things fall apart and it is the parent’s job to step in or pull the plug when the young athlete’s sports participation is tilting to the negative. Always remember, when approaching the coach, to present your concerns with the utmost respect for another human being who is doing their best. A fabulous technique that I’ve taught parents in confronting a coach or director is to use the “feedback sandwich.” This means, you start out the conversation with praise, followed by your concern, and finishing up with more praise. Here’s how that could go:
“Hi Coach, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate all your efforts and time you put in for this team. I’m very grateful for all you do for these kids. I wonder if I might ask you about Johnny’s playing time and what you think he needs to do in order to get more time on the field. And by the way, that last game where you pumped the team to get that win was brilliant….(then be quiet and let the coach speak.)