How To Overcome The Fear Of Disappointing Parents & Others

This is a clip from the Baseball/Softball Mental Toughness program just released spring 2018. It’s  part of module 7 where we work on becoming fearless by antidoting the fear of failure and rejection.

[Video Script]

We have to deal with and clear another related Fear here.  

Fear of rejection.

It’s  a big part of fear of failure. That means, we are afraid of what others will think about us.  We are scared to let our teammates down, to disappoint our coaches and parents, etc., right?  Your tool for this is the truth.  The deadly accurate truth! I call it deadly because it destroys fears. 

The ultimate way to get rid of all of your fears is to go to the worst case scenario, in your mind, and know that you will always be alright. That’s what we’re doing here in this module. In fact, you can be better than alright.  

So let’s do that by looking at the deadly accurate truth about a worst case scenario and what others think if, let’s say, you choke at the end of a tight game. A really tough thing to experience, right?  What’s the deadly accurate truth about what others think?

Well, What if you were a teammate of a player that that happened to…would you hate him or her? What would you think about that event? would you blame the whole game on that person and hate them for it?  Well, the truth is, if you are thinking like a normal person and understand the basics of baseball and softball, you don’t blame the whole game on that player…because how many plays, at bats and pitches happened that game that could have gone down a different way and the team could have won? 

Just because it’s the end of the game doesn’t mean it’s that player’s fault your whole team didn’t win now is it? That’s the deadly accurate truth.  You need to know that that’s what your teammates are thinking.  Yes, they are disappointed. Yes, they are sad and probably so are you.  That’s cool. I already taught you what to do about those difficult feelings.   Everyone’s chemicals will go back to where they came from and it will all be a thing of the past in no time.  And you will be alright! That’s the deadly accurate truth. There’s nothing to be afraid of in reality!

What about your parents. You care what they think right? But you are probably telling yourself a FALSE story in your head that is about how they “disapprove of or reject you because of your poor play or mistake or choke.”  You might think that because of the reaction you see on their face or something they said to you. 

What’s the real TRUTH about that?  The TRUTH is, they just feel bad for you, with you. They feel bad because you feel bad. There’s no rejection there. In fact, that’s really connection! It’s called sympathy or empathy.  They don’t think any worse of you as a person, a son or daughter.

They know full well the deadly accurate truth that everyone makes outs or mistakes in baseball and softball…even the greatest professionals. Why would they think that it shouldn’t happen to you if it’s happened to the greatest in history?  Even if, even if they get on you and tell you how you should have done something different, the deadly accurate TRUTH is, they just want you to learn from it and improve so you do it better the next time. 

Go with the deadly accurate truth, not the made up stories in your head that make you feel rejected. Those are false and don’t exist any more than 8-legged space aliens. 

And by the way, That’s the exact same deadly accurate truth about coaches too no matter how they react from your play on the field. So stop making up useless false stories in your head about failure, pressure and rejection. If you don’t know the truth, ask your parent or a trusted adult for that. 

Don’t just believe the crazy false stories running in your head making you feel bad. You don’t have to any more. You get to choose the stories you tell yourself about things that happen in your life. Choose stories that make you feel good, start with deadly accurate truth.  you have that power, now use it!…and you will always be alright because you are building mental toughness to deal with anything. Boom!

Let’s do this, go on to the next module. 

Craig

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