Confidence building for kids is not as easy as it may seem.Today we are featuring a guest post from Naomi Richards, who calls herself The Kids Coach Today she shares with us her confidence building tips for kids.
What happens when a child walks off the field after a game that they were disappointed and upset with the outcome? They often come away doubting their abilities, what they are capable of and it also could make them feel insecure about their standing on the team.
They start to wonder if they really are as good a player as their coach, parents, peers say they are.
It is not always easy trying to get a child back on their feet after they missed a goal, penalty, were permanently tackled or did not get much of a touch in the game. Unless they have high self-belief and have the mind-set that, ‘Okay, I did not do well today, but I have played well in other games’ and analyze what did not go so well in a rational way.
But what if they can’t? What if they start to think about giving up playing when they encounter an obstacle and do not believe they are good enough? As parents we can help them by boosting their self-belief and challenging their thoughts, so they see the game just as a one off ‘not great’ game.
We need to help them believe in themselves.
You can do this by talking about the game they have just played. Get them to make a list of the things that they did well and then a list of where they felt they did not do so well. Let them see the game was not all bad and think together about strategies they could use for the next game to improve. This activity should help dispel the belief they have about themselves such as, ‘I am a rubbish footballer’ or ‘I never score a goal’.
Alternatively you could talk about games they have played over the past few weeks or months. Can they remember the games where they played extraordinarily well? Get them to write them down – what happened and what was the outcome? Now talk about the days they felt they did not play well.
Can they remember them? Get them to keep a journal or written note from now on of when they play well so that they remember they have great playing ability. We want them to remember!
We can also get them to think about why they were picked for the team in the first place. What attributes do they have to be a great player? Are they fast, quick thinkers, good tacklers, patient, a team player? If they weren’t would they have been picked?
Finally ask them how they would feel if they were not playing their sport? Would they have any regrets later on in life? Share your experiences of when you wanted to give up or not felt great about a performance and how you endured and went forward to succeed.
Naomi Richards is The Kids Coach, a life coach for children and provides coaching for them on any behavioural and emotional issue that they have. She works with children on self-esteem, confidence, friendship, bullying, anxiety, parent separation, communication and any other home or school related problem.
She is an Agony Aunt for Bliss Magazine, is part of the Three Counties Radio families show and writes for parenting, teenage and women’s magazines. Her first book, ‘The Parents Toolkit’ was published in February 2012 by Random House. Her book can be bought here
Building confidence is not easy that is why we have made an extensive course all about building the right confidence for you! Find out more here:
http://mentalstrengthacademy.com/confidence/category/welcome/